Constructing a Life – It may seem like an odd name for a blog. For me, though, it is more than a blog. It is about me actually trying to construct a life for myself, and this blog is my way of documenting what I do and to share my process with others.
Some background: I have several chronic illnesses. The ones affecting me most at this point are Crohn’s Disease and Chronic Fatigue. These aren’t things I normally talk about, and illness isn’t really what this blog is about. I do have a blog dedicated to chronic illness, but for now it is anonymous. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
This blog is about how I can construct a life given the challenges I have been given. I can no longer simply ride the tide of events as I have most of my life. Living has become a deliberate act for me. I don’t choose to live a life that is nothing but doctors, hospitals and lying in bed all day. I choose to embrace those things in life that are important to me to whatever extent I can.
I recognize that many things are going to be out of my reach. I will probably never play in a band again, but I can still make music. With the technology at my finger tips, I can write and record music without leaving my bed. I can’t go to cultural events as much as I would like to. Through the Internet and social media, though, I can interact with friends, fellow musicians, artists, foodies and all kinds of people who share my interests. It is not ideal, but it can still be a life.
So why write a blog? Because writing it down makes it real. Within the confines of my own mind, it is easy to make promises to myself and then not follow through. A blog gives me an external source of motivation to do the things I have in my head. Doing them gives me something to write about. Whether anyone reads this blog or not, I know it is here. By committing to the blog, I am committing to course of action, and that is really the point of this whole exercise.
I don’t choose to allow my illnesses to define me. Despite everything I have to contend with, I am still here. As long as I am here, I will do what I can, as much as I can, for as long as I can. This is my story…